Back in January, I met Kenny on POF and Nic on OKCupid within a few days of each other. Kenny and I had a lot in common. We were raised with similar values, had large families we were close to, and seemed to want to live similar lives. There wasn't a lot of flirtation between us, which is why I decided to meet Nic first, as we had a ton of passion even before we met. I continued to email Kenny for a few days more but once I realized I was falling in love with Nic, I cut off communication. It was about a month before I started emailing Kenny again. We emailed every day, having long philosophical conversations. He made me laugh and, even though I was heartbroken over Nic, I knew I needed to find another distraction than alcohol.
Kenny and I had our first date downtown Fort Myers on the 12th. See my previous post about that. It was a lot of fun and helped me just as I hoped it would. I knew I'd never feel about him the way I feel about NIc, but he was sweet and made me laugh a lot. We started texting and emailing more often. Due to both our schedules (my running a show and him having his daughter that weekend) we didn't make plans until the weekend of the 22nd. However, on Friday the 21st, I took my car to the mechanic and got bad news. I was going to be stuck there all day. Kenny immediately hopped in the car and picked me up. We got lunch and ate in a park, then had a beer before returning to the mechanic's. He waited with me until I got my car, which was very thoughtful. The next night, he met me downtown again so I could do my scene change at work. While I was backstage, I told him he could go get a drink at the bar because I knew Ashley was working it. He did and they chatted for a bit. When I finished work, we got another drink and then hung out by a fountain until about 2am. The following night, he took me to the beach to watch the sunset. We split a bottle of wine and I taught him how to waltz. We watched some unexpected fireworks and then walked around downtown Naples. It was a fairly romantical date. I'm rushing through all this just for understanding. The details of our dates and conversations are not important.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. It was a weekend with his daughter. So I knew I wouldn't get to see him. But we texted a bit throughout the day as normal. Saturday night, my theatre had a big fundraising gala at a country club. I had planned on having to work it, but at the last minute my supervisor gave me the day off. Late that night, she texted me that Ashley had something to tell me and it would require I drink more wine. I demanded she tell me then, thinking it was something work related. Fortunately, it wasn't. Apparently, at the start of the gala, Ashley (who had to dress up as a 1940s cigarette girl and collect donations for the theatre) recognized Kenny waiting for the event. She stopped another waiter to ask about him and was given a different name. She went to the bar and asked about him. The guy didn't know his name but pointed out Kenny's supposed girlfriend who was also waiting the event. Well, Ashley lost her shit. Coworkers from our theatre had to remove her from the room a few times because she wanted to go full redneck on him in the middle of the party. He tried to avoid her the rest of the party but she stalked him and whenever she saw that he was clearing an abandoned table she went and sat at it to bitch him out.
I told Berta I wasn't upset, and I really wasn't. We all know I was only seeing him to distract me from the panicky sick feeling that had settled inside me every time I thought about Nic. I thought that we might end up in a relationship but I had guilt because I knew I'd always wish Nic would come back. Well, my guilt was gone. First thing first, I googled Kenny. I had done it once before but just briefly. Ashley was convinced it wasn't his real name but I verified that it was. When she got home she was out of her mind. Drunker than I'd ever seen her and filled with rage. She had punched a wall and looked like she might do it again. She was pacing around the apartment screaming about the whole thing. She was shaking and sometimes weeping. I did my best to calm her down but she couldn't. I decided to start drinking myself, to be better equipped to talk to her at her level. She told me the whole story at least three times. The biggest thing I got out of the whole incident was that she was a wonderful friend and really would have done anything to defend me.
Eventually, I got her to go to bed. The next day while I was having fittings for the kid show I'm designing, Kenny called me. Twice. I considered giving Ashley the phone (she was down the hall) but couldn't get away from the fittings. Instead I texted him that I was working. He texted that he was sorry and he's an asshole but he's had a girlfriend for several months. I told him he probably shouldn't be on dating websites. I also said I wasn't surprised because he does lie for sport all the time. He admitted that he does enjoy lying. He said sorry again and suggested we "go our separate ways". I took this to mean "please just go away quietly and don't give me trouble". I realized he had no intention of discontinuing his online profiles or dating of other girls. And we definitely were dating. He always drove. He always paid. He was constantly saying he was thinking of me and coming up with other places he wanted to take me. He couldn't get around it, he was cheating. When I told Ashley, she wanted to go back to the venue the gala had been at to wait for his girlfriend to show up and tell her the whole story. I had a better idea. After a shockingly short amount of online creeping, I found his girlfriend. Announcing that I had a present for Ashley, I directed her to the girl's facebook page. Ashley was delighted and promptly sent the girl a very respectful message.
As of right now, neither of us have heard from Kenny's girlfriend. We fear that instead of believing us, she simply asked him and let him manipulate his way out of it. He has two facebook pages. He friended her on one and me on the other. He fancies himself a smooth operator, I'm sure. The fact is, I verified most of what he told me to be true, but that didn't stop him from still being able to hide this one thing. It's kind of upsetting to know that we can never be fully sure the person we're dating or even just hanging out with, is who they say they are. It's the reason I don't date or make friends very often anymore. People suck. They never stop lying or looking out solely for themselves. The only thing I can think right now is how much I want to drive to Nic's house and say, "do you see what you're making me deal with???".
The following is a picture of Kenny and myself at the beach last week. His dating usernames are KJBroccoli, Renovatio15, and Kennykool. If you see him, be suspicious. He lies for sport and doesn't seem to care that he's setting a terrible example for his daughter. I guess he'll learn his lesson when guys do this sort of stuff to her in 10 years.