Walter and Ines (or Peanut as we took to calling her) were my light in a very dark tunnel. I was in a bad place when they moved into my apartment. Over time we became a family. Ines was a delicate little thing and Walter was use to being taken care of. They were very much in love with each other. They were never apart, which at first I thought was sweet, but then it got a little strange....
They wore gold wedding bands but weren't married. They were ballerinas that never stopped eating. I drove them to and from dance every day. When they first moved in they walked or took the bus anywhere else they wanted to go but as time went on I took them to more and more places. They both cooked, but only Peanut cleaned. That drove me a little crazy.
Ines was never out of Walter's sight. Never. They always showered together, which infuriated me because they'd be in the bathroom for over an hour and when I'd go into the bathroom afterwards, there'd be a 1/2" of water on the floor. Ines said it's because Walter wouldn't use the shower curtain. Walter would only wear his speedo in the apartment. Due to the small amount of clothing, he was constantly turning the heat up. Since I was paying the utilities, I was always yelling at him for this. Anytime I yelled at him he would give me one of two lines: "But I'm just a little kid", or, "How you can be mad when I look so nice". The second was the same line he gave me when I realized they don't tip anyone and freaked out. I told him he wasn't in Italy anymore. In America, we just want your money. He was certain I was wrong.
Our car rides were entertaining. Walter would ask me the name of something in English. It usually took a few minutes before I knew what he was asking and then we'd go back and forth repeating the word until he could pronounce it properly. Some days, when I picked them up, Peanut would come running to the car to tell me something Walter did to her that day. I had to scold him like a child. She thought it was quite funny because she would never say anything to him. She needed someone to defend her. Like when she needed to poop, for example. When I said earlier that they were always together, I meant it. She wasn't allowed to use the toilet by herself. Sometimes, I'd hear her tip toe to the bathroom and lock the door as quickly as possible. A moment later I'd hear him pounding on the door asking her in Italian if she was pooping. I'd come out of my room and yell at him until he'd retreat to his room with his head down. He'd sulk until she came out. Ridiculous.
If I left the house with wet hair they told me I was a "strong woo-man". If I was in a good mood, Peanut would call me "nice Rabbit". There were times when Walter knew he'd pissed me off and he'd scold himself for me. He knew exactly what I'd say. It was very difficult to stay mad at him. Occasionally, though, I managed to do it.
I had to work the overnight shift at Kohl's the night before my birthday. When I came home at 6:30am I was extremely disheartened to see every light in the apartment on, every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen open, and pans and dishes with food on them everywhere. I wrote a note saying how hurtful it was that they left the kitchen like that for me to come home to on my birthday! I showered and went to sleep. I vaguely heard one of them get up and find the note. That person ran back to the bedroom. When I woke up a few hours later, they were gone and the kitchen was spotless. Then my phone rang. I answered and my babies were singing Happy Birthday in Italian to me. When they finished, they knocked on the door. They gave me a big hug, apologized for the mess, and gave me the present they had just bought when they walked to the store. They may have behaved like children, but these kids loved their American mama.
They wore gold wedding bands but weren't married. They were ballerinas that never stopped eating. I drove them to and from dance every day. When they first moved in they walked or took the bus anywhere else they wanted to go but as time went on I took them to more and more places. They both cooked, but only Peanut cleaned. That drove me a little crazy.
Ines was never out of Walter's sight. Never. They always showered together, which infuriated me because they'd be in the bathroom for over an hour and when I'd go into the bathroom afterwards, there'd be a 1/2" of water on the floor. Ines said it's because Walter wouldn't use the shower curtain. Walter would only wear his speedo in the apartment. Due to the small amount of clothing, he was constantly turning the heat up. Since I was paying the utilities, I was always yelling at him for this. Anytime I yelled at him he would give me one of two lines: "But I'm just a little kid", or, "How you can be mad when I look so nice". The second was the same line he gave me when I realized they don't tip anyone and freaked out. I told him he wasn't in Italy anymore. In America, we just want your money. He was certain I was wrong.
Our car rides were entertaining. Walter would ask me the name of something in English. It usually took a few minutes before I knew what he was asking and then we'd go back and forth repeating the word until he could pronounce it properly. Some days, when I picked them up, Peanut would come running to the car to tell me something Walter did to her that day. I had to scold him like a child. She thought it was quite funny because she would never say anything to him. She needed someone to defend her. Like when she needed to poop, for example. When I said earlier that they were always together, I meant it. She wasn't allowed to use the toilet by herself. Sometimes, I'd hear her tip toe to the bathroom and lock the door as quickly as possible. A moment later I'd hear him pounding on the door asking her in Italian if she was pooping. I'd come out of my room and yell at him until he'd retreat to his room with his head down. He'd sulk until she came out. Ridiculous.
If I left the house with wet hair they told me I was a "strong woo-man". If I was in a good mood, Peanut would call me "nice Rabbit". There were times when Walter knew he'd pissed me off and he'd scold himself for me. He knew exactly what I'd say. It was very difficult to stay mad at him. Occasionally, though, I managed to do it.
I had to work the overnight shift at Kohl's the night before my birthday. When I came home at 6:30am I was extremely disheartened to see every light in the apartment on, every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen open, and pans and dishes with food on them everywhere. I wrote a note saying how hurtful it was that they left the kitchen like that for me to come home to on my birthday! I showered and went to sleep. I vaguely heard one of them get up and find the note. That person ran back to the bedroom. When I woke up a few hours later, they were gone and the kitchen was spotless. Then my phone rang. I answered and my babies were singing Happy Birthday in Italian to me. When they finished, they knocked on the door. They gave me a big hug, apologized for the mess, and gave me the present they had just bought when they walked to the store. They may have behaved like children, but these kids loved their American mama.