It was mid January, 2010. I was at a low point in my life. Everything I was trying to do wasn't working out. I had just turned 25, my grandmother had had a breakdown and went into assisted living forcing me to move back in with my parents. The economy was still in a bad place and I couldn't get a job in my field. I was depressed, and crying all the time. My only bright light was Blaise, as he had been since he was born 2.5 years earlier. I swore he was an angel, given to our family in our time of need. I was in love with him the moment I saw his first sonogram picture and my love has only grown over the years.
It was a Friday morning. My parents were supposed to have left for the airport before I woke up to go to my cousin's kid's baptism, but they were still home when I got up. They had gotten a call from the state veteran's nursing home my grandpa was living at that he had to go to the hospital and it wasn't looking good. We didn't know a whole lot at that point and my grandparents were frequent hospital visitors so we didn't panic yet. My brother and sister in law went to work, my parents went to the hospital, and I went to my brother's house to watch Blaise. He was still in his pj onesy when I got there. I made us some strawberry waffles and we cuddled on the couch watching TV.
We had just settled in when I got a call from my dad. "Aimee. It's not good. You should get here as soon as possible." I hung up, with tears welling in my eyes, and looked around the room cluelessly, trying to determine what had to be done before I could leave the house. Blaise looked up at me expectantly. I ripped off a piece of waffle and shoved it in his mouth and then threw him under my arm like a football and ran up the stairs. I stripped his onesy off and plopped him on the toilet. (My sister in law had just found out she was pregnant again and we potty trained Blaise practically overnight.) As I ran back and forth from his room to the bathroom changing his clothing while he peed, I calmly explained to him that Nono (Italian for grandpa) was in the hospital and we had to get there very quickly. He very seriously looked in my eyes and said "ok Aunt Mamie".
When he was done and hands were washed I carried him back down the stairs and tossed his coat at him. While he put it on I ran to the kitchen and packed a bag of juice, snacks, and anything else he might need. I came back, put both our shoes on, zipped him up and out the door we went. I rushed down the driveway with him hurrying after me. Buckled him into my carseat, put the hospital into my GPS and away we went. I was crying and panicking that I wouldn't get there in time. I prayed silently as I weaved in and out of traffic on the Long Island Expressway, constantly checking in the rearview mirror that Blaise was alright. He just kept saying "it ok, Aunt Mamie. I love you, Aunt Mamie". What 2.5 year old not only remains calm when a trusted adult is losing her shit but also knows how to comfort her?
When we got to the hospital I parked and brought him in. My grandpa was still in the emergency room which small children aren't allowed in. My brother and sister in law met us there. Neither one of them is ok with hospitals so they were fine in the waiting room. I went in to my grandpa's room and sat with him, holding his hand. My mom, dad and her brothers were all in there. They had turned the lights out because it was too bright for him but he was hooked up to a million machines and not really aware of any of us. His eyes were closed and he didn't react to anything we said to him. Bobby (my brother) got permission to bring Blaise in for a very quick goodbye. Bobby came in carrying Blaise in his arms. He brought him over to my grandpa's head and Blaise leaned over like he wanted to kiss him. So Bobby bent down and Blaise kissed my grandpa on the forehead (one of the only parts of him not hooked up to anything). Then he said "I love you, Nono". We told him Grandpa couldn't hear him over the machines so he shouted again, "I LOVE YOU NONO!!!". Grandpa opened his eyes, looked around til he found Blaise and mumbled, "I love you, too" before closing his eyes again.
Blaise spent the next 8 or so hours in the waiting room. He missed his nap and had few toys to play with but he never cried or fussed once. He just sat with whoever was in the room with him. My grandpa held on for about 2.5 days before finally letting go. When we walked into the funeral home the morning of his wake, Blaise ran up to the casket and said "hey, it's Nono!". It's amazing the innocence of a child. He knew Grandpa wasn't with us anymore and he knew everyone around him was sad, but he never got scared or sad himself.
Blaise and I have had a lot of moments like that over the years. From birth he's been extremely intuitive and thoughtful. He's always been my little man and I've assured him many times that no matter what happened in my life, he'd always be my #1 man.
This picture below is Blaise and myself on a ride in Disney world May, 2012. We had all planned to go on Space Mountain but upon arriving heard it had gotten scarier. I didn't want him to be traumatized so my brother Greg, Blaise, Makenna and I bailed on Space Mountain and went on another, super mellow ride, that slowly tours all the rides in the area. It passed through Space Mountain at one point and we were in total darkness. I felt little hands reach for me and feel around until he ended up on my lap, clinging to me. Greg and I agreed it was a good call not letting him go on Space Mountain.